President Donald

 
Monday April 3, 2017 

It’s a snowy day in DC. President Donald and Ivanka Trump, his chief of staff, are in the oval office working on the week schedule.

Ivanka: Mr. President, we have Angela Merkel visiting next week. When would you rather have the press conference with her, next Tuesday or Wednesday?

President Trump: Ugh….

Ivanka: Mr. President, next Tuesday or Wednesday?

President Trump: I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to meet Merkel. In fact, I know that it makes sense for me not to meet her.

Ivanka: Why?

President Trump: Because she doesn’t like me. She will ask me tricky questions, I know it. I know a bad deal when I see it.

Ivanka: But you never met her before.

President Trump: It doesn’t matter; we have a common friend who told me she was unhappy that I was elected. Plus, who knows if she’ll be at that period of the month. I don’t want to deal with that.

Ivanka: Dad! You cannot avoid meeting people you don’t like. You created a huge diplomatic incident last month already when you went to Iraq and refused to show up at a planned conference with their prime minister.

President Trump: Oh please. The guy hates me; he said so during the general election. But I did well; in fact I did very well, by holding that event in Baghdad instead.

Ivanka: You mean the event when you auctioned Iraqi oil to raise money for the Mexico wall? It is their oil, not ours. It didn’t go that well.

President Trump: of course it did, it was great. We got a super deal. I know a good deal when I see one. Trust me, I am super intelligent; I know what I am doing.

Ivanka: Mr. President, with all due respect, there is no going around Angela Merkel, she is the most important leader in Europe!

President Trump: Who cares about Europe? They’re dead, I tell you, they are dead.

Ivanka: The whole word cares about Europe. You will meet her on next Tuesday, that’s it.

President Trump: No, no, no. Don’t do this to me.

Trump starts stomping his feet.

Ivanka picks up the phone on the President’s desk: please bring us a tape of the Apprentice ASAP. The President is having another tantrum, this will calm him down.